I spent Christmas Eve with my boyfriend and his family. That was a lot of fun! We had a lot of food and played his little brother’s new guitar hero. I went home t like 2am, so I was exhausted. I was woken at 9:45 by my selfish brother playing with a giant ball downstairs when EVERYONE in the house was asleep. Not only that back my dog Zeus was crying because he wanted to go outside, but there’s a hole in our fence so he cant just go outside, he was to be on his leash. I guess my brother didn’t put two and two together, and just let him cry. So I let him out, but he got out through the fence. My mom went and got him. We came back and opened presents and stuff. That was funn. I got knitting stuff (:
So, for the rest of the day, Ramon came over, and we watched Netflix. I was knitting all day. Then at 8:30 we were craving hamburgers, to we went to McDonald’s, but the drive thru line was lonnnnnnggg (only in America). So we went to Carl’s Jr. Those were some GOOOOOOD burgers (: After we ate, we watched more netflix and I knitted more.
Today was the first official day of Christmas break. I was planning on sleeping in, then going to Savers with Megan. But, I ended up being woken up at 8:30am because my sister was talking on the phone outside my room soooo loud. Since I was awake, I noticed I had to pee, but I hate getting up to pee after the sun has already come up because it’s like impossible to go back to sleep, but I did it anyway. When exiting the bathroom, my dad told me that my dog Zeus had gotten out and that I needed to watch out for him and open the door when he comes back (stupid/smart dog). He also said that I needed to watch my nephew while my sister goes to the doctor. BUUT my mom said that I needed to go with my sister to the doctor just in case she’s too sick to drive and she needs me to do so. So, I went back to bed for two hours, but didn’t really sleep because Ramon woke up and we texted. At ten I took a shower and washed my hair. I didn’t have time, nor did I have the energy to do my hair so I just put it in an ugly pony tail and tied up my short, impossible to tie up bangs. My hair was gonna dry like that, and I knew it, but i didn’t care. I didn’t put on makeup, or ever my contacts, and I wore jeans and a sweatshirt. I was hideous. You may think that “lazy day” “bad hair, no makeup” thing is attractive on people, and I’m not gonna lie, it is on a certain few, but I’m DEFINITIVELY not one of those people. It looks horrible on me. Just saying.
After the doctor, after having to deal with a crying fussy baby, my sister told me that I was gonna drive home. I have my permit. And, I never practice driving. I’m not a bad driver at all, just over cautious and uncomfortable. But whatever, I ended up driving for 20min back to my house. Then when I got there, I told Ramon to come get me. Ramon and I have been together for almost a year and a half. I just assumed that he wouldn’t care how I was dressed or what I looked like or whatever. Was I wrong to assume that? Obviously because he doesn’t say anything aboutt how I look. He acts upset with me, which freaks me out. When I mention how I look, he says that I had hella time in the morning to get pretty, which made me believe that he was complaining about how I look. This made me feel like shit.
So, for the rest of the day, I felt like shit, even after I told him I felt like shit and he apologized, I still felt like shit. And while I was laying with him, watching Exit Through the Gift Shop I was sad, and I didnt feel good. Idk, I guess my eyes aren’t used to wearing glasses because I kept tearing up. I was soooooo tired, and I couldn’t explain why. I had no idea myself why I was so tired. I just was. So, I fell asleep next to him, which was something that I HATE doing because it upsets him, and makes me feel guilty sincce I do it all the time. But the harder you try to stay awake when you’re tired, the faster you fall asleep. So a slept for an hour or two. When I woke up I felt dizzy, and I told him I felt dizzy. He just said “I’m sorry” And told me to go back to sleep. That made me feel like shit again. It’s like he didn’t want to take care of me. UGH
Fast foreword until right now. We’re skyping and I was trying to talk to him, but I was using the chat thing, and not talking. So I told him to text me, and he said no you text me. I felt like he was upset, so I asked what was wrong. He said nothing. And so I told him to text me, I’m getting off. He didn’t reply, so I sent it again. He replied. And then I sent something else. He didn’t reply right away again. Then he showed me that he was looking at some sexy photo of Megan Foxx. Yupp. So I got pissed. Like way to make me feel uglier that I already did all day.
But nope, now they’re everywhere. The alternatives are getting less and less. I love skirts, dresses, trousers, tights, shorts, ANYTHING BUT JEANS. Jeans are uncomfortable, and make me look weird because my legs are weird and really skinny, plus they make me feel frumpy, no matter how hard I try to dress them up.
Day 1 - Your Middle Name and How You Feel About It.
I haven’t done one of these in a long time. LOL, hai guise.
My middle name is Cassidy.
I like my middle name(: I sometimes wish it was my first name because it’s obviously a girls name. Morgan is a black guy’s name, just saying. But, yupp! I like my middle name. I like how it flows. Morgan Cassidy(: My parents did a good job haha.
Idk why they are so hyped right now. I really just don’t like them, lol. They look like platform nurse shoes. I don’t know, maybe one day I’ll appreciate them more and buy a pair. But, knowing me, I wont like them until they’re out of style haha
It’s cozy (: The weather may be a bit bipolar, but I’m okay with that. It’s nice living in a city where you don’t really need a AC/heater system. Just the occasional fan or portable heater. I especially love San Jose during the winter. It’s the perfect type of cold! It’s not the cold that gets hot at lunch time. It’s cuddle weather for most of the year, and that’s my favorite!
I love that when you look up at the San Jose sky, you see stars. It’s not so polluted with lights and factories that the beauty of the night sky is gone. Tonight, there is a full moon, or at least there was sometime this week. The moon is shining bright at it’s lighting up my whole backyard. I love how the moon reflects so perfectly in my pool causing my backyard to light up even more.
San Jose is big enough to have all the stores, restaurants, clubs, people that you can think of! Here, where I live, it’s a tad bit limited, but I’m extremely content with not driving 30mi to get to where the big stores are. I love the diversity of San Jose. I have experienced non-diverse societies, and quite frankly, I just don’t like them :( You may think that just Asians live here, or just Mexicans etc, but if you actually look around, move outside your neighborhood, you’d see that there is MUCH more than that!
Would I ever want to leave? Perhaps. Maybe to study in France or have a house in a nowhere town on the east cost. But for now, I’m content with San Jose. Not too busy, but not an empty farm city where aliens attack. It’s comforting.